Eulogy For Greg Hale Jones

Yes Greg
I know too well the order
of this song
and got the tempo
down by heart.
First the shock
and then with sleepless nights,
the first wave of breathless grief
and the anger and depthless fatigue.
Followed by dissonant outbursts
of grotesque hilarity
and fragments of memories
followed then by the utter silence.
This chorus repeats,
Adagio,
and the dance section begins,
a vast and massive spiral
with the arms of the Milky Way
infinite in scale
and surrounded by true darkness.
The pain is so acute and specific
that it almost goes unnoticed
when the whole song cycle
starts to contract
towards the center
spinning and
repeating again
in smaller pulses of shock,
grief and anger
and then
in prayer
as it closes in on itself.
And it becomes so close
so personal,
so particular,
so individual
that it is profoundly finite
in nearness.
That because it is
so infinite in mass
and so individual in scale
the very light of a galaxy
is reduced to a travel spot
that finds us all,
each of us,
at the center of our own stage.
Each of us
in loss.
Each of us
embracing life,
and singing and dancing
to this now greatly diminished orchestra
and this more vacant stage.

With that Greg has left the stage.
He did not wait for the second act
he did not wait for the curtain
and he took no encore.
For my part
I would gather up the roses he cherished
and give them back
to those who loved him
one at a time.

Stuart Cudlitz
NYC
September 2004

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